I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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