i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize