HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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