I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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