and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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