I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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