so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
