scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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