I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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