I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I need moral support for this bender
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sorry about my life...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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