she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
A bitchslap is in order.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
