capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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