I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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