Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
