Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
