Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
