yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
