What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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