just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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