I'm gonna have a badass scar
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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