Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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