Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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