i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What a dumb baby whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We smell like vodka and hangover
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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