Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
