it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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