i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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