"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
