STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
