I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
