how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Randomize
