we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her