Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS