We won't sleep together?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
