Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
