stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
