yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
