return my video game
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize