Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think my fart just growled at me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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