I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
