I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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