Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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