ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
