I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
