I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize