We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
