If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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