you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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