My girlfriend figured out who you are.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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