i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
