dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm like, not good at living.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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