When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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