She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
