i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Randomize
