Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
