i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
