I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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